Effy Blue’s (New York) Open Relationship Test

Effy Blue is a coach who deals with the issue of “what is open and alternative relationship” from both practical and theoretical perspective. Effy is a dab hand in ethical non-monogamy and alternative relationships structure. And she is probably the world one and only expert in this field. Effy refers to monogamy as “relationship default settings” and suggests her clients build relationships following their own design and making changes in the said defaults. And if a couple is making its way to open relationship, Effy advise they’d better establish their own open relationship rules. Details...

Open Relationship Stories and Definitions

1% to 4% of the US couples have opted for open relationship. Yet when we tried to define the concept, we have found the description to be vague and blurred. There is nothing to rely on – no scientific studies, experiments or evidences. Few experts deal with couples practicing non-monogamous relationship in professional and science-based way. Thus it made us turn to books and open relationship stories – from Casanova to Esther Perel’s Mating In Captivity and Dr. Zhana Vranglova’s Are Open Relationships Right For You? Details...

Libertines Dating: Sex Clubs Rules

All listed rules are also relevant for online dating: - the posted photo has just a few seconds to catch the attention or fail, so the rule of creating image works here as well; - the rule of politeness is important in case someone intends to send photos of genitalia without asking; - the rule of refuse is a core element of every online service: here you cannot try sticking to your guns, or a ban shall catch you right away... Details...

Monotony Vaccine, or 5 Steps To Rekindle Sexual Desire

Have you ever had this feeling when you look at the partner and recognize every feature of their: the hairline, moles and wrinkles, bumps etc.? That you know their lunch and dinner preferences, their everyday habits and travelling patterns, how they look in the euphoria of first infatuation and in search for a difficult problem solution. A feeling that he or she is no longer a riddle and a secret. So that it makes you think: is it really going to be the same thing tomorrow, with all bright moments left behind? Details...

New York City Venues: Where Sexual Fantasy May Come

While preparing our review of European sex-positive venues (Eyes Wide Open: A Guide To Kinky Clubs And Kinky Parties) and after the article had been published we were receiving heaps of references from all over the world telling about places, clubs and resources for acting out one’s fantasies. And this is how we’ve found the capital of sex-positive world–New York. Details...

From Open Mind To Unicorn: Code Words In Dating Apps

One may treat ambiguous words and descriptions in dating apps profiles as annoying attempt of disorienting. Or may use them as a game start and an open door inviting for a dialogue. In fact, they are words that help us replace plastic “hi, how are you, cool photo, where are u from?” with an individual, live question or an offer: Details...

Libertines as French Open Minds

Terms used to define sex-positive people, like “lifestyle”, “ethical slut”, “kinkster”, “swingers”, were coined only in the XX century. So even in case adherents of sexual freedom did had any self-designation before, they never passed it to their descendants. And only in French there was – and still exists - a word to name culture of sex-positive experimenters. Probably in France they by the rule of thumb never hide things from their grandchildren;). The word used by Calvin for criticizing uninhibited behavior in the XVI century later became a name for an integrated philosophy of “sexual” hedonism – libertine, with libertines as its followers. Details...

The New World: Places To Act Out Your Sexual Fantasies

In Europe they would prefer to see you dressed according to strict code, but shall later allow you to go naked. In the USA you may come to a kinky party in your office garments, but not every club shall welcome your public undressing. Sex positive clubs of Europe are often open for new visitors, while in America you shall in most cases have to register beforehand. In Europe they have no alcohol restrictions, yet a US sex event does not imply drinking lawlessness. Details...

How to Start Talking About Contraception? Five Magic Words

“Do you have a condom?” These are 5 magic words they’ve forgotten to teach us at school. Just like introducing a class on saying “no”, putting questions, asking for explanation of things that are not clear and initiating a talk about contraception. A lot of other useful skills were also omitted from curriculum. But the afore-mentioned words and practices are the most beneficial issues for sex-positive people who take personal care of improving their sex. Details...

Jealousy and Compersion in Open Marriage

Jealousy seems to know the trick of coming third in traditional monogamous couples. Likewise it has found a loophole in polyamorous families, getting access also to open marriage. We know there’s jealousy in us. Maybe your reality has very little to do with it, but we have in this life been jealous of our partners’ infatuations, of their interaction with brothers, moms, sisters, best friends, female friends, boss, soccer match companion, waitress, yoga teacher, book, movie, game, social network. Details...