sexual fantasy

New York City Venues: Where Sexual Fantasy May Come


When preparing our review of European sex-positive venues (Eyes Wide Open: A Guide To Kinky Clubs And Kinky Parties) and after its publication we have received a feedback of links to places, clubs and resources for acting out one’s fantasies all over the world. And this is how we’ve found the capital city of sex-positive people and sexual fantasies–New York.

New York gives plenty of variants to live fantasies out without repeating one and the same–at least during a year. It is the city of venues where any of top sexual fantasies can be fulfilled. It is in New York that one can find parties for “Sex talks fanciers”, “Foot massage givers”, “Flogging fans” and ca. 50 other parties held during a week.

The weekly variety of sexual “debaucheries” can be found on Thiswink–an online-resource of New York kinky-life events.

New York kinks and vanilla

The first section of our review shall cover activities that abstain from taking a walk on the dark paths of the BDSM world. It is the second part of the guide that shall be dealing with NY BDSM.

Sex-positive community of Hacienda Villa

Residents of Hacienda Villa sex-positive community refer to their reality as “responsible hedonism”. In addition to the its regular members, we have found Hacienda to host 15 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, 3 kitchens and 1 Jacuzzi. They are for Hacienda Villa community members’ living. The community does welcome new participants–one needs to submit application on the  community website.

As for the events, the villa hosts parties and lectures on teaching different aspects of sexuality. The educational aspect of the villa residents is patronized by internationally recognized experts, for instance, Dr. Zhanna Vranglova and Kenneth Play. The  events agenda can be found on Facebook page as well as Villa website.

Private sex parties are a major component of Villa reputation. The venue turns into once every three months into the place for fulfilling fantasies of its boldest guests. These are themed parties that are thoroughly arranged by a team of volunteers: the mansion is refitted and redesigned for guests arriving from all over the world. We consider this to be the most creative and home-felt, but at the same time most sexual event in New York’ bustling life.

Consent in the House of Yes

The House of Yes club does not limit itself to parties for sex-positive people. Some days are left for those who simply enjoy dancing. Themed parties a la “night of sensual debauchery” are designed for guests who at least once in the lifetime want to spend the night walking on the edge of one’s boundaries, or maybe even lose themselves for a while and take a step beyond it.

A House of Yes kinky party starts with a pretty good dinner with meals served and talks going between all members. But the dinner shall progressively turn into an overwhelming act which atmosphere resembles the Eyes Wide Shut movie.

Restrictions of Skirt Club

This is a themed community from London. Actually, it was impossible for Skirt Club parties series to go worldwide without settling in New York.

The members of the Skirt Club community represent themselves as proactive, high-intelligent and high-risky women. The community membership welcomes bi-curious and bisexual ladies. The organizers speak nothing of the club entrance by lesbian women–probably they rely on Kinsey scale that defines absolute majority of people to be bisexual.

Some of New York Skirt Club parties are held in Мadame X bar, but only registered members shall be allowed.

The club title may evoke association with a young girl from Aerosmith Crazy video, yet dressing style of the Skirt parties and images implies chic, glamor, risk and intelligence.

NSFW – a private club for the adventurous

Adventures are a kind of challenge, and this one we take up even before crossing the threshold, when just trying to learn more about this club. Its name wants decoding, doesn’t it? Here NSFW stands for “not safe for work”, and it gives us another puzzle: what is this title about? It was a pleasant test to pass, and we did manage–but shall not share the spoiler.

The next stage of the adventure is finding an entrance to this private membership club – the entrance located in Williamsburg, a cozy hipster district of Brooklyn. If this location is a neighbor to your continent, apply for membership and wait for the answer.

In addition to themed parties the club territory hosts sex-positive events that the club members ask for: sexEd workshops, trainings and erotic art classes.  

Fulfilling women’s sexual fantasies: KillingKittens parties

Victorian past is still haunting the descendants of Queen Victoria. In revenge for great-grandmothers’ crippled orgasm English girls of today promote popularity of female orgasm and organize parties to celebrate it. KillingKittens uses its name to ridicule the myth telling that whenever in this world a woman has orgasm a kitten shall die. The parties’ organizer promises that women’s sexual fantasies shall be fulfilled and guests shall have multiple orgasms per night.

The parties’ dress-code requires elegant and sexy cocktail outfits. A mask is a must.

The KillingKittens parties are held in Barcelona, London, Malta and New York. Only registered members shall know the venue. The event entrance is by invitation only. Yet an invitation does not secure your admission unless you pass face-control. Here they are ladies in cocktail dresses who have the upper hand.

Swing lifestyle in Caligula NY

Located in Astoria neighborhood, the club is open for sex-positive couples and single ladies.

If this is your first event in Caligula, community membership registration is a must. Further on, when having the club card, knowing the address and becoming the community approved member you shall be able to attend it without registration.

Caligula NY is a friend of some other US-based swing-clubs, so being a member of any from the list below enables you to visit the party without registration:  SLS, SDC, Kasidie, Club Amante’s, Role Play AC, Miami Velvet FL, Trapeze Atlanta. Parties in Caligula are held on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.

The dress code is conditioned by the party “theme”, but in case there isn’t any specific, the organizes shall request dressing up in sexy dress without imitating rappers’ sexuality. If guest’s jeans won’t stick to waist but keep slipping down to hips, and if having no ball cap makes a visitor feel uncomfortable–they’ll be asked to leave the club.

Fun for couples in Club Casbar

“A posh, private, pleasure place devoted to the Erotic”–this is what organizers describe their space to be. The club is open on Fridays, 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. Its territory is a loft with nooks and crannies designed for intimate games and a fully-fitted section for BDSM scenarios. Single guests are allowed only when arranging to attend in advance. The procedure is also recommended for couples to guarantee the entry.

The club is wrapped in the mist of secrecy, this being a part of the club owners’ policy: even dress-code remains a secret until applying for event participation.

Polyamorous relationships in Meetup

A kinky community of people who identify themselves with polyamorous, sexual minorities, poly-curious, poly-positive, sex-positive and kinksters aged 20 to 40. It does not admit people who know nothing about their sexuality and are not able to tell the same.

The Meetup agenda features not only parties but also movies watching, training sessions in polyamory, queer-meetings. The community looks like fetlife analogue; it’s just that it is not only for kinksters and is designed in white). In New York Meetup events are held in Brooklyn.

The synergy of Аdultsocials and Bowerybliss

The lifestyle events of the week, month and year can be found on adultsocials, the Big Apple swingers agenda. The resource also features a podcast-series about swingers lifestyle. We take real places only and have the site listed here for its arranging offline forums of newbies’ introduction to swing-Swinger 101. The meetups are held twice a week in Bowery Bliss club.

Bowery Bliss graces the area of 4000 sq.ft on 3 floors. Only approved quests aged 21+ can get the club address.

But even this knowledge does not ensure the club entry. They are preferably couples and single women allowed (men shall have difficulties entering the club when unattended). The venue dress-code is loyal to clothing but strict when it comes to footwear: no sneakers shall pass, while jeans are welcome (given it’s a high rise model).

For your legs only: Footfetish parties

Nothing like a usual swing club. No sex and nudity are allowed. The party is for those who love to stroke legs. The lady arranging Footfitish parties (she’s been the dame of the hall for more than 10 years now) guarantees the event shall be hosted by models with nice legs that are open for party guests’ caresses.

This club is for men, but this is neither a bawdy house nor a strip-club; just a very niche party.

Vocal exhibitionism at Bare! True Stories of Sex, Desire and Romance

Another popular place has just a couple of fantasies involved: telling in public your sexual fantasy stories and listening to others’. The event organizer is Jefferson Bites, a sex-blogger.

The performance is held once a week. You put your name in the hat at the entrance and if you’re lucky you shall take the stage for 7 minutes to give a public bare to your erotic story.

Non-vanilla New York: BDSM places

Traditional constituents of sexual game–seduction, corruption of sexual partner, encouraging for a new experience–have a domination element in them.  When you seduce another one you get the person involved into your game, make one abide and act by your rules. Isn’t it a dominating part?

We think stylistic division of clubs into those of bdsm- and non-bdsm type to be rather relative. Such classification results from the clubs self-identity–whether they describe themselves as bdsm- or not. And the percentage of black color in design, of course.

Sadomaso friendly: Paddles

“Bondage-contest”, “flagellation and spanking”, “cross-dressing”, “Slaves auction”, “All black”, “Crime and punishment”–all these are Paddles club’ popular themes.  The themed parties last only an hour and a half. The rest of the night is left for kinky-entertainment of the club guests who enjoy 5000 sq.ft. of its area. The club zone consists of corridors, nooks and rooms fitted for satisfying one’s long list of sadomaso fantasies.

Get to the club website for agenda before visiting the venue to avoid the risk of knocking at closed door during a private party eve.

The club also arranges O.T.K Spankers Only Parties that one can visit at just  5$ if dressed in school uniform (for those who were not allowed to enter Skirt Club when dressed like this).

Pangea on NY map

Pangea is open for discovery by modern explorers devoted to swing and BDSM-games every last Saturday of the month, 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. The masterminds of Pangea parties are extremely fond of swing and BDSM-kinks so that they have even coined a term to unite them - swinky. “We can be as swinky as we wanna” is the club maxima.

The Cakehole secret address

The Cakehole parties are held in a Manhattan basement, but getting the address is not an easy thing. The guests receive it by email a week before a party. To have such a letter received one needs to register on Cakehole website, but that’s no easy matter as well. Registration to the upcoming party is secured by a password. And the password is to be searched for on the site web page. Seems like organizers consider non-kinksters to be not that smart).

You can get a free entrance inside Cakehole if you respectively ask it from organizers, or at half-price - having “earned” the entrance fee by working as a volunteer.

Owners of Cakehole describe their customers to be a BAMF crowd (Bad ass motherfucker). Are you that much of a motherfucker to visit Cakehole?

What to choose?

The agonies of choosing is a traditional price we pay for diversity of or ignorance about our desires. When selecting a venue for a Saturday night, we listen to butterflies in our stomach that take us either to adventures or to feelings.

From our own experience we know the path to living out one’s fantasies to be endless. The number of fantasies is countless, and having started learning turbulent kinky-life of New York we have found the places that our butterflies remember.

Get more of USA kinky clubs in our article The New World: Places to Act Out Your Sexual Fantasies.