A List of Kinks to Explore Your Sexual Fantasies
What is sexual fulfillment?
We live in a world where only about half of adults are satisfied with their sex life (and even then, there are complaints).
The problem isn’t about love or biology; it’s about the limitations of language. We have trouble talking about the spectrum of feelings, sensations, desires, and perceptions that we experience as human beings, especially when it comes to sexuality.
Take the word “fetish” for instance. Here’s one definition:
“An object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression”
The term “interfere with complete sexual expression” sounds like a fetish is limiting. It’s the idea that somehow, what you are attracted to is “wrong” or “bad”.
Dr. Tammy Nelson, a renowned sex therapist encourages us to move away from these types of definitions. Her idea is that there is no “normal” sexual behavior, because all sexual behavior is normal.
How could that possibly be true?
In this article we speak about a way to explore your sexual fantasies - this is our kinks list. Yet we shall still keep you waiting for a while and take a look into the core of sexuality.
What ignites your sexual passion?
Sex is something deeply existential. How you explore and experience sex is unique to you. Because of that, the word “normal” (when referring to sexual behavior) might be limiting. After all, what constitutes a “typical” human life? We all experience this world through different lenses, different histories, and different experiences.
In many ways, the only standard is that we’re all different.
With this in mind, we can explore our sexual fantasies without judgement or apprehension. Think of it as discovering what ignites your sexual passion. According to Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D, sex educator and research psychologist at Harvard University, there’s a wide spectrum of what turns people on, from boots to domination to dirt. And the “why?” behind it can be complicated.
But as long as you understand your desires and your personal kinks in a safe, consenting environment then it should not be thought of as “wrong” or “unusual” (unless thinking about it that way turns you on). Explore your fantasies and kinks as an expression of who you are and what makes you happy.
Basically, it’s normal to be kinky and embrace your fetishes.
Also, you should be aware and supportive of your partner’s fantasies. Communicating about these things can bring you to a higher, clearer level of sexual satisfaction and overall happiness.
Here is a way of exploring your sexual fantasies as we understand it: make a list of your personal kinks.
Our list of sexual fantasies and kinks
1. Body Fantasies and Kinks
Beards, boobs, or back hair. Think specific body parts or aspects of the body, and how that turns you on. This could the shape of a person’s body or their feet. It could even be the way their hair smells or their fingers taste. Our bodies are beautiful, so it makes sense that certain parts will turn you on. That’s what we call a body fantasy or kink.
2. Object Fantasies and Kinks
Ever see a sex toy and get excited? Object fantasies (or “fetishes”) are non-living things that sexually stimulate us. They can range from garters to leather jackets, dolls to cakes. Some of these fetishes even have names. Mechanophilia, for instance, is sexual arousal by machines (like helicopters, cars, and bicycles).
3. Group Fantasies and Kinks
While the group fantasies means “more than two” people, it doesn’t always imply threesome (though it certainly can). Sex in public makes spectators a part of the group experience, and the sexual arousal you get from dancing in a crowd counts, too. If it takes more than one, you are discovering your group fantasy.
4. Domination and Submission Fantasies and Kinks
The naughty schoolgirl and the punishing professor. Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf. The servant and the master. These all involve various degrees of BDSM, in which the submissive partner is willing to endure pain or humiliation for the dominant partner. Of course, this only works if there is clear communication between partners, and it’s always safe, consensual, and mutually beneficial.
5. Role-Playing Fantasies and Kinks
The role playing fantasies allow you to explore your fantasies or explore new experiences with the same partner. The shy, caring mother who has few friends, but is insatiable in the bedroom is a good example, allowing you to be someone you’re not (or someone you’re not all the time).
6. Taboo Fantasies and Kinks
Why are things sexier when they’re naughty? You have the taboo fantasy to thank for that. This is for people that want to be wrong in the best possible way, who want to violate and be violated in a blend of shame, adrenaline, excitement and doubt. This could happen in an unplanned place or with an inappropriate partner, or even come from a man wearing women’s clothing (or vice versa).
7. The God or Goddess Fantasy
This is the fantasy of someone you feel in awe of, someone that you literally worship. It’s a mix of desire for the person, admiration for what they represent, and fear of destroying their purity. The sheer “untouchable” nature of this person is what ultimately gets you going above all else. As Henry Miller said, someone who could make you “…believe that there was something more important on earth than myself…”
Fantasy: an App for the Sexually Adventurous
If you see sexual fantasy as something healthy and exciting, then you’re in good company. Our app, Fantasy App, let’s you share your sexual journey and experience the adventures of others. After all, we’re all on a sexual journey–no reason we shouldn’t share it.