Perversion or Evolvement: What is a Sexual Fantasy
Modern genetics declares nonmonogamy and diversity of sexual preferences to have been embedded in human genes in the last 200 000 years of our species existence. In terms of sexual medicine different theories as to sexual strategies predetermined by nature coexist next to each other. So let us try to define the position that kinks and sexual fantasies as a part of individual sexuality assume in the scientific idea of today.
Perversion vs norm: what are kinks?
Sexology as a science was born in early 1900ies, and it was from the very beginning that some sexologists noticed sexual arousal of observed individuals to be triggered not only by a certain person and his or her genitals but by erotic context of the events, individual body parts or objects. These observations have developed into different opinions that sex therapists have in respect of kinks.
One of the doctrines - the ‘Freudian’ (authored by Alfred Binet) - relies upon the idea that all cases of kinky excitement (i.e. arousal induced by something different from partners’ genitals) result from childhood traumas, and defines kink as kinkster’s substitution of genitals image and sexual intercourse.
This idea, however, has been put in doubt by sexologists’ current research. They were advanced at Altsex NYC conference in April, 2016, in the reports Kink is Good: BDSM in the Context of New Models of Sex and Gender Variance by Margaret Nichols, PhD, and The Kink-Poly Confluence: Community Intersections and Clinical Approaches of Dulcinea Pitagora, PhD. In their given presentations the speakers have debunked the myth of a kink to be just a consequence of childhood traumas and put across the idea that tells the variety of sexual displays to be a stage of sexuality development and an element of the natural course of things.
These ideas appear to have much in common with the “theory of intermedial sexual stages (Zwischenstufentheorie)” (1920) developed by Magnus Hirschfeld, a sexologist. It deals with sexual desire as something referring not to a person in general yet resulting from interaction between the situation and one’s individual specific features. Hirschfeld represented individual sexual interests to be a norm that is inherent in all human beings. 90 years later the idea has found its place in modern sexology.
Genetic nonmonogamy of Homo sapiens
The scientific knowledge of today confirms our sexual behavior to be induced by instincts that had been set by environmental conditions the humanity lived under.
From the dawn of agriculture, the onset of private property era (10 000 years ago) and thence entailed fighting over resources a woman has become much more restrained in her possibility to take care of herself. This is where the “sex in exchange for food” strategy of sexual conduct stems from. Yet some scientists – like Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha – speak against the paramount importance of this strategy. Their views have been developed in the book Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality and enunciated in their TED reports. Their criticism is based on analyzing the pre-agricultural period, a 200 000 years long’ timespan when the “sex in exchange for food” strategy was inappropriate: people were living by groups of 100-150 members so that survival of a group was more important than that of one single individual. This harmony of interests implied distribution of food and resources between all group members – they were all taking care of each other.
That is, if we consider the history of mankind before the 10 000 years old’ milestone we might find that the strategy of generosity and egalitarianism had been forming our genes much longer than that of private property.
A similar type of relationships can be observed in Нomo sapiens close ‘relatives’ – bonobos. By having sex with those they are sexually appealed to these primates set a complex system of interrelations within the group. This form of group interplay has resulted in absence of aggression as well as intra-clan or inter-clan wars between bonobos. While historians confirm the wars of our species, just like conflict between the sexes, to have emerged only after private property era advent.
Another secret that the theory of “sex in exchange for food” keeps quiet is the reason for manifold and complex sexuality in pre-agricultural period when gatherers were anyway sharing food with all group members. It gives scientists the right to advance new assumptions and search for variants of sexuality development in the framework of general paradigm of the man evolving into a creative, mindful and happy individual.
The situation of today allows a woman to be sustainably self-sufficient and independent from the harvest her man crops. Yet evolution is a complex and lengthy process, and several decades of recent equality spiced by broad options have not yet managed to affect human genes. Many people so far believe loving their partners and feeling desire for others to be wrong and abnormal - the stereotype that destroys relationships between the loving two.
A man of today has all possibilities to abandon the conventionalities generated by recent millennia of humanity existence. It would be at least strange to follow the stereotyped emotions that date back to the Middle Ages: to have one’s desire followed by shame and to concern whether your appetence matches the will of the overlord/husband/religion/neighbors. Taking a woman for an object of property, imposing ban on her fulfilling her desires and regulating her sexual behavior seems weird as well.
We may also expect that several dozens of generations, having refuted a resource-like attitude to sex and sexuality, might trigger the establishment of new strategy of sexual behavior that shall consider sex to be a means of experiencing new states.
Which sexual fantasies are considered a disorder?
As of today, the only authority in answering the question of disorder vs norm is the World Health Organization. According to WHO, arousal from recollection or observation of one’s favorite kink (learn more about kinks in the article List of Kinks and Their Definition: Real Stories Analysis ), sexual fantasy or fetish are a norm that can be classified as a disorder only if fulfillment of sexual fantasies causes pain and suffering to the self or associates, or in case it comes as the only possible way of attaining sexual discharge. At that rate it is no longer a kink but a perversion. And the one doing the same is not a kinkster yet a pervert.
Causing pain or harm to people around – moral as well as physical – are the signs of perversion. The description implies absence of mutual consent, and it is because of consent lack that voyeurism and exhibitionism have been classified as perversions: it is not the fact of being caught naked that delights the exhibitionist yet making audience bluefunked or even shocked.
Another thing that psychology and sexology refer to unhealthy is the state of a person fixated on one and the same kink only, so that his sexual fantasy is uniform and implies no development. A human individual is an evolving creature and is logical that all our needs develop and alter in the course of life. It is natural that our sexual displays become more complex and sophisticated, and in addition to sexual pleasure they start bringing the esthetic one as well.