Swingers Dating Rules In Apps And Offline
The ideas of monogamish, polyamory, open relationships and compersion sometimes take by surprise even most educated and open minds. While swinging has been the “gold standard” of non-monogamous relationships of the last 200 years. Many couples know about it–and many couples have tried it at least once. This can be verified by more than 20 swingers dating apps one can find on AppStore and Google Play.
For those who have not yet given it a try the team of sex-positive blog Fantasy has seduced several swinging couples into a kind of survey. In this article we take the pleasure of sharing its results:
The rules of dating with the help of swingers apps and offline
I First swingers dating: only with those who know the ropes
Steve and Miranda:
For some time the subject of swinging had been our permanent joke. And then we understood that in fact none of us objected trying it. So we were already up for living the fantasy out, but the question was: what to start with? And Miranda, saying “ok, we’ll simply watch” took the initiative, signed in a swingers dating app and wangled an invitation to a party arranged by experienced swingers.
I remember this evening: some Bob was making moves on my wife. We told him right away that this was our first experience. It made Bob even more excited, and he went to introduce us to his girl, Melissa. They took us under their wing and suggested we have a walk along the beach. This was supposed to make us relax and feel more comfortable in this natural environment.
We walked into a beach disco party. After dancing on the sand accompanied by a couple of long drinks we rented a room. Things went natural exactly because we found ourselves in a familiar environment where it was easy to relax. Later on Melissa told us it was their specific excitement–seducing newbies into the lifestyle.
I think that Miranda and I, we were really lucked out with things to have happened like this!
Interesting fact: we enjoyed keeping company with this couple even beyond swinging. The four of us, we became friends, and Bob succeeded to lure some other friends of ours to the swingers side of the force.
When seduced by a qualified couple, you two of course hit the jackpot. So you can just give in and learn the pleasant process. But if the luck is not after you, you can arrange it on your own with the help of swingers dating apps or swingers lifestyle websites, as well as swingers clubs.
II Seduce the ones of your gender
Joe and Brenda:
My Brenda has been friends with Kelly since their college years. Kelly was never hiding her bi preferences thus giving me many exciting hours in fantasizing about the things they do when meet in two.
One day Brenda came home over-excited and brought an offer from Kelly: try swinging with her boyfriend Dylan. I did appreciate women’s concern about our home comfort. And when discussing our “hypothetic” ideas about how things could happen, I noticed it was bringing me on.
The following weekend we dropped in to Kelly and Dylan’s for a party. One look at Dylan–and we understood there were things to talk about. We discussed the eventual start of our experiment and decided we first do girls swapping with no further plans so far designed. And in case of eventual desire we can proceed in four.
Next morning Dylan brought in Brenda and took Kelly home. Our friendship has become much more manifold since then. Curious, but Dylan and I, we have not told a single word to each other about swinging.
Another good opportunity to tempt one into swinging is to start with a person of your gender (man to man, woman to woman).
III New fantasies for new swingers dating
Angie and Brad:
Our story that had started yet before I met Brad is so far pending without happy end.
Eight years ago I had a short affair with Johnny, while Brad even earlier had had intimacy with Vanessa, Johnny’s today wife.
Things like this sometimes happen: people from your past show up in very queer and exciting combinations. We met in a bar by chance to find out such a piquant detail from our past. The idea of having fun for four was already on the surface since for me and Brad this had already been a natural experience of the early years.
Men were entrusted with discussion and arrangement of details. Anticipation was exciting. We decided things would happen in one room but on different beds (the way we used to do it often with other couples). But this combination made the drive ebb. Seems this was something we wanted, but somehow went sour…
Later we tried to discuss the issue: it turned out that everyone wanted to hole up with an old partner. First to recall the way the ex was once infatuated with you, and then open it up to others. We are still thinking whether we should do it, given the desire still remains. Now when learning new people, we follow the desire instead of traditional habit.
When meeting new people take pleasure from listening to your fantasies: what would you love to live out specifically with these people?
IV Nuances of comfortable pace: no hurry and fuss
Martin and Natalie:
We met with the help of swingers lifestyle website. Max and Katherine invited us to theirs. We had no expectations and did not bother about laying ourselves out to be liked. Thus we easily found common language.
Each of the four were swinging first-timers. Thus we took the principles of creating a friendly atmosphere as a basis: common dinner, small talks and wine drinking, two from different couple’s talking alone, four in one Jacuzzi under the stars… Of course the Jacuzzi made us go beyond the borders of companionship. Though we have not ceased being friends).
Not all people enjoy cliff diving or jumping with a long run. Some like stepping in deliberately, feeling the water. The last mentioned are slow in changing the rate of intimacy, they look around to see if everyone is comfortable.
V Couple seduction differs from the one done severally
Margarita and Michael:
We’ve noticed that Michael and I, we get horny when caress each other in the public eye. We were once kissing in the club and then found this tasting much sweeter than when we do it home alone. So it occurred to us we can go further to gain attention of other people.
Finding our own style of meeting people when in couple was a cool thing. We can be shy and confused when act separately, but we become bald and daring when seduce together. There is a couple we know: when at home, it is the woman who has the upper hand; yet when they go public the man turns the deciding party; sometimes he presents her to his friend, or gives her order to agree for sex with a totally strange couple.
We have our own strategy of temptation. Other couples come to get acquainted with us, but this is what we exchange public caresses for. We are excited by others’ timidity in their desires. We enjoy teasing them and challenging them, provoke their taking next step.
From our early years we learn from different examples around how to meet and date people separately. And only few are lucky to see the process of getting acquainted in couples. But there is something inside us that helps learning new people without theoretical basis: our desires and fantasies.
VI Bear liability for one’s desires
Jim and Dorothy:
I met Dorothy on a cruise liner. We got married and several years worked side by side. After giving birth Dorothy opted for career changes. While I did not want to part with oceans. Therefore we set to discussing the aspect of sex–obviously, none of us would agree to stay without it for half a year.
During one of my leavings Dorothy fell in love with a married man. As soon as she understood this she decided she would not hide things from me. It took me some time to decide what to do. I definitely would not want to end up with divorce, while the idea of seeing them together was turning me on. Without any specifics in my mind, I suggested her introducing us to each other.
When Dorothy told Tim about my desire, he probably thought things through and returned with proposition of meeting in four. Each of us knew the score when sat down at one table for a Saturday night dinner. It was Tim’s wife who advanced the idea of trying sex in four. I’m grateful to her for this. Not only she offered, she also arranged the whole process:
- gathered information on swingers and lifestyle websites;
- analyzed necessary data from apps for swingers;
- made us have our tests before the sex and after it;
- was joking to release any eventual tension and discomfort occurred during the date.
Listening to my fair one moaning while I was embracing the woman I barely knew appeared to be the most exciting adventure in my life. Now I know that in case there is at least one person with really strong desire, they shall manage to arrange the process for four.
So even if there is just one person of the four whose desire is strong and the rest of the group simply don’t mind, the one can succeed in organizing a swinging experience for the whole company.
Why setting dating rules for swingers?
None of theoretical rules can make us experts in couples looking for couples dating. Neither can they prevent us from falling into the trap in real-time situation. In this case just the attempt to understand “how it works” in sex for four is an exciting and arousing thing that we are pleased to give ourselves to. So we are waiting for your stories and rules of dating for couples looking for couples.
Get the analysis of swingers apps in the article Best Swingers Apps Analysis By Fantasy App