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Monogamish Vs Open Relationship. What Is The Difference?

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In its evolvement the world around turns into a more sophisticated realm. Not only in terms of technology: the diversity and sophistication have modified both gender identity and typology of intimate relationships. The need for self-identity takes one to search for similarities and differences between the relationships they are in and those of others, either observed or heard about. To finding answer to the question “what are we closer to: monogamish or open relationship?”

Why in general give name to relationships?

In his book `Escape From Freedom` Erich Fromm, German author and founder of Neo-Freudianism, determined one’s identity with a group of other people to be a basic need of a human being. He put co-involvement and co-identity on a par with other essential human needs, such as a need for communication and pleasure.

Be it work, sports, leisure, food or entertainment, we want to meet people we agree in our preferences. Thus definition, the name, comes as a way of identifying oneself with other people in these very relationships.

Monogamish vs open relationship

Our sex-positive blog Fantasy has already tended to definitions of open relationship, consensual non-monogamy, non-consensual non-monogamy, monogamish, swinging and polyamory. However the questions coming from readers tell there is a strong interest in the difference between the following notions: monogamish vs open relationship.

Monogamish

With suffix –ish emphasizing rough proximity–“something like this” and “of the kind”–the word gains an ironically-polite meaning that denotes “something like monogamy” and “almost monogamous”. Dan Savage, the author of the term, has defined it as not totally monogamous relationship”.

Our understanding of monogamish has been expounded in details in the article Dan Savage Definition Of Monogamish And More. To put it shortly, monogamish comes as a transitional stage of relationship in its transformation from monogamy into something different. Monogamish occurs when desires of a couple cease fitting in the framework of monogamy. But the couple has not yet shifted into polygamy, open relationship, polyamory, swinging or other type of consensual non-monogamy.

Being monogamish does not imply giving up the values of monogamy: candor and deep emotional attachment. Being monogamish means:

- sharing with your partner the fantasies you have about the third persons;

- trying seduction of new people either in two or separately;

- trying different types of open relationship looking for the one that the couple feels good at;

- laying down your own rules;

- creating new type of relationship.

And the most essential issue of the list: do everything in consort with your partner.

Monogamish is the period of experiments, of trying on different types of open relationships. By making up their mind with rules, fantasies and kinks, the couple gradually turns from monogamish into alternative relationships.

Open relationship

Our definition of open relationship refers it to a stable couple having intimate relationship and practicing non-monogamous relationship.

We lay down all ins and outs of open relationship in the article Open Relationship Stories And Definition.

Open relationship belongs to alternative relationships having swinging and polyamory as its siblings.

Being in open relationships means:

- acting out your sexual fantasies with the third people;

- having established intimacy with the third parties, either together with your partner or separately;

- live according to the rules of open relationships;

And do all this in consent with not only your partner, but other people involved in intimate relationships as well.

As a rule, all types of open relationship have some side effects:

  • the experience of compersion;
  • good knowledge of personal fantasies, fetishes and kinks;
  • sex-positive friends in your circle of contacts;
  • a wealth of experiments in swinging and other types of alternative relationships.

The key difference between monogamish and open relationship

A couple in open relationship lives in compliance with their own rules of their open relationship. They are two individuals who have already established their specific dating format. While in monogamish a couple is just looking for the rules it shall live by, though already understanding that the stereotype of monogamy no longer suits them.

What does name bind over to

The desire of defining relationships results from one’s need for co-involvement and co-identity. Thus compete refusal from giving them some name shall hardly be possible. However, any titles come secondary in relation to desires, fantasies, the essence of emotional and sexual bonds. Living today in the framework of polyamory does not mean we shall never shift into swinging or open relationships.

The mankind that changes citizenship, residence and even religion like a breeze has finally managed to change the type of intimate relationship as well. So isn’t something called freedom? The freedom manifested in the right to make experiments and live by the rules of one’s own.

Learn more about the difference between consensual non-monogamy and polygamy in the article `Consensual Non-Monogamy, Polygyny And Polygamy: Where The Difference Lies?`

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