Monogamish Relationship And Rules vs Infidelity: The Difference
The concept of monogamish has been already introduced in our article Dan Savage's Definition of Monogamish – And More. However the issue of difference between the meaning of monogamish and infidelity needs additional consideration. The attempt to answer this question encourages determining the features of monogamish relationships. Having identified their basic characteristics we shall be able to tell for sure what is NOT monogamish.
We’ve made our study based on the stories of monogamish couples that have already made their coming out. The couples sharing their monogamish cases are similar in their rules and features. These similarities gave us an opportunity to define the key features of monogamish relationships and their basic distinctions from infidelities.
Communication as a basis of monogamish relationships
Monogamish relationships assume that both partners are aware of the things happening and that the decision on contacting with the third parties has been made by mutual consent. If either of you has no idea of what the other has in his or her dreams and fantasies it means you are rather close to infidelity than monogamish: having the thoughts of other people circulating in your mind you still lack the courage to tell this to your partner. Communication in the underlying principle, the groundwork that the rest of monogamish relationship rules and features rely on.
Health and safety of the couple are put as the first priority
It is the couple’ health and integrity that monogamish mates are primarily concerned about in establishing their own rules. And it’s not only about protection and regular tests. As opposed to selfie-sh followers of serial monogamy, monogamish couples often observe the rule of limiting the internet publicity of their affairs with the third persons. The image of strong and stable union is just the same important as each other’s health. That’s why the decision to tell the whole world or your close friends about your couple’s practicing non-monogamy is a major step that can be dared only in case it’s not detrimental to your relations. While the desire to conceal protected sex from your partner once again takes you closer to being infidel - or even promiscuous - in terms of the “monogamish – infidelity” scale.
Not afraid of jealousy
Jealousy shall not vanish at the moment you both claim your relationships to be monogamish or set each other free to sex with other partners. Even if it’s been your joint decision, compersion is not the holy spirit to descend on you immediately. Many monogamish couples continue to feel jealousy on their road to building non-monogamous relationships. Being ready to challenges and not giving up at the first failed attempt yet proceeding the journey to their desired compersion – this is what comes to help.
Monogamish: not a comfort zone yet a zone without violence
Many monogamish followers say they have more than once left their zone of comfort after deciding to quit with monogamy. Every couple in the club used to have plenty of these moments. Going through uncustomary situations is a usual thing for a monogamish person.
However one must not confuse one’s own decision on taking a bold and non-traditional step with compelling one’s partner to do the same. Making a partner live with your decision is just the infamous violence that has nothing to do with monogamish (unless it is a part of your favorite thematic game, but then – well, you are thematic kinksters).
Ready for the unknown
Coming out of comfort zone involves situations that the couples had no chance to prepare in advance. You are hardly able to anticipate everything that may occur on the way to monogamish. If you happen to catch your partner flirting with another one the decision on your reaction must be taken right away)). And situations like this shall be occurring in numbers. So mind that laying down new rules in the course of your monogamish life is something you’ll be doing rather often. Moreover, the rules adopted today might in two months appear irrelevant for your couple: it is a process of continuous transformation.
What rules shall you choose?
The above-listed features of monogamish relationships obviously leave space for variabilities and don’t ensure a clear picture of what further life should be.
Monogamish relationships don’t imply any ABC or ready-made guideline. But this is what makes them even more charming – the chance for the two to establish unique rules and rely on your own experience in choosing the way to satisfy both partners’ interests and wishes.
More about monogamish relationship in article "Monogamish Statistics and Expert Opinions".