Let’s talk about sex –
5 reasons to have sexual communication
The freedom to discuss any topic you want is like the feeling of flying – one can understand it only having once tried. Yet it is not only love for unobstructed actions that may motivate to train the skill of talking about sex – there are at least 5 reasons more. Therefore, let us talk about sex.
Reason 1. Study, learn, train...
Learning how to have sex seems unusual? But why? Whatever the activity, there is always someone better than you. The said refers to the sphere of sensual pleasure as well. And in order to learn something new you will have to feel free in telling aloud the names of body parts and be comfortable in speaking about the things you want to know more of.
The ability to talk about sensuality and discuss related sex topics enables you to ask questions to real people who have something to share with you. Moreover, when willing to tell your partner about the way your body should be treated you might find hints to be insufficient for proper explanation and see it useful to be able to call things like they are. There is another variant possible: being a more experienced of the two, you may want to teach your partner, corrupt him or her, lure into experiment… In this case mere making no bones of the matter won’t be enough: one has to have a complete command of body language, not only knowing the body parts and organs proper names but being able to convey all nuances of sensations and experiences, qualitative characteristics of touching and much more.
Reason 2. “Let’s talk about sex”
as prevention of infidelity
In many cases infidelity in a couple is caused by hesitation to talk to partner about the things you like.
Remember the mafia man from “Analyze This” and his response to the question of why he was doing ‘these things’ with his lover, not wife:
- That’s the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?
Just like any type of sincerity, a new level of openness is not only a stairway to heaven that a couple may climb, yet the groundwork of their relationship as well. If you don’t ask and if you don’t speak then how would you know what exactly your partner loves in sex? And in case sex is always cooked and served solely to your taste you may finally end up in a situation when it is only you who consider the dish delicious, while the partner will have to look for this “delight” in some other place. Sexual communication can make it possible to expand the scope of what is permitted within the couple.
Reason 3. Searching for someone like you
Every person has his or her own methods of determining sympathy in terms of making new acquaintance. Some rely on smell and aroma, others tell by touch, while the third take notice of clean shoes; in case of sapiosexuals it is intellect that means much, and for grammar-nazi it is the well-bread speech of an eventual partner that is important. Whatever the way of sympathy emergence, it is logical that when looking for a sex partner we usually choose people who are sex-positive. Dealing with someone who feels shy to talk about sex may seem sweet but only unless you happen to hear that “Sex without relationship is a sin, and you should not even dare thinking about this”. And in case you come to doubt thinking your experience to be too broad to get along with a person it is a sure sign that it’s time you take to your heels and look for a less blindfolded partner - or change the attitude of the one you’ve enjoyed in respect of sex and sexuality. Mind here that it’s not by just saying “let’s talk about sex” that the latter plan can be accomplished yet by artful ability to keep the conversation going!
Reason 4. The freedom of sex safety
The decision on expending sex safety boundaries directly depends on the scope of your knowledge about the partner. One would hardly venture unprotected sex with any Tom, Dick and Harry. Yet even in case of someone you know you would probably not risk before seeing his or her results on STIs that are hard to cure – HIV, syphilis, hepatitis C etc. – to be negative. However in order to see these analyses you first have to ask for them. While uneasiness in asking to go under test as well as the fear to stick to your guns not only impede your mutual understanding but may even cause break in relations. Some people would rather part with a partner than explain him or her that sex without a condom is only possible after several months of unique relationship given that both partners have their STIs tests done.
Reason 5. Prevention of Alzheimer
New activities foster formation of new synapses in our brain thus becoming a good prevention of Alzheimer disease. This is one point. The second point that’s been noticed is that as soon as one ceases to maintain muscles tone the body might in the course of time become soft ant flaccid. Our sexuality is the same very demanding. It needs exertion. Moreover, this exertion is to be refined and manifold.
Fantasies - base
They are our fantasies that come as signals about new desires. Once a new dream starts stirring your blood it’s high time that you share it with your partner. It is the moment when on the way to development of your sexuality you may meet a gray wolf of uneasiness and shame disguised as a pang of doubts and wondering if the thing you want is decent. And this is the case when the ability to ask a partner what he thinks about the things and whether he is ready to exceed the bounds of propriety for the benefit of sex experiments and for the sake your brain’ remaining young shall come in useful.
In her book Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex Mary Roach notes that the more sex is spoken about by scientists, experts and journalists, the easier it becomes for the rest of the mankind to talk about it. The same refers to reading: the more you read about the subject-matter and study the topic, the more comfortable you feel communicating about it.
If you know any other reasons to start talking about sex – go share them. Receiving feedbacks and talking about sex and sexuality again and again gives us a thrill!
More about sexual talking – in article "Threesome Advice - Learning From Movie Scenes".