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How to Increase Sexual Desire in Couple - Communication
About Sex

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Routine and sex. Long-term relationship and passion. Can these two notions coexist in one reality without suppressing each other? Is it possible to bring these two opposites together to gain the experience of sexing with someone you trust and have deep emotional bods with simultaneously to having vibrant sex with a stranger?

Atypical idea

“… at some point all of us need to go out into the world to discover and to explore. That's the beginning of desire” – Esther Perel says. Pursuant to this idea it is a continuous effort of getting out of the well-known world into a new, unexplored one that may become a way of maintaining desire. And it is not mandatory that you change a partner in order to keep yourself from turning off this road. It is confidence about knowing the loved one to his/her fingertips that is to be changed. And it is not self-suggestion that we propose. It is looking for something new that we mean.

Your partner and you – you both reconsider your experience, learn something new, attain, comprehend, overcome, fight, create, travel, conceive new ideas, get acquainted with new people. Your partner and you – a priori these are new persons who wake up every new day. The task is to see this novelty, for these changes are not always taken notice of. Communication is a means to help. By comprehending and discussing new emotional experience, by sharing the way you see the world around, by sharing the ideas resting within you complement the world of each other; you both change in your own way, and it comes together into unique mosaic of a ‘refined’ couple. Sharing the desires with your partner helps you add new colors to surrounding reality. And you may search for topics for sexual communication, for instance – in the article From A To V: Alternative Relationships Glossary.

New people – new ideas

You may of course try spending more time away from each other. Single going to the movies or fitness, making friends separately, having separate bedrooms and traveling alone. Yet you may… look at the partner through somebody else’s eyes. Your eyes know everything about him (or her), every little hair, every hummock and hollow; you can tell every answer and response. But what about others? Other people that deal with your common by-time see your partner from a different perspective. You don’t believe? Try to answer the question “what is it in your partner that attracts other people?” Courage? Movements of the lips? Silhouette? Head tilt? Haircut? A phrase you’ve left unnoticed… This kind of quest may help find new points for admiration and excitement.

Passion experiments

Any kind of new situation provides fodder for new reactions, for new outbreak of passion, new knowledge about the partner. A challenge – a spark. Attainment – ignition. Victory – explosion. I don’t call for seizing the state power as it is done by the “House of Cards” characters, for their passion involves submission of the entire country. There is always something that you enjoy doing together, and you can both upgrade the skills in this field giving a dare to boring routine.

Finding your common passion is a hard work, just like finding you hairdresser, establishing friendly relations or launching profitable business. Not everyone succeeds from the first experiment, make it on the first try. You may detect it in most unexpected situations, and it is the spirit of experimentation and being quick off the mark that helps discover or create these moments.

Image change

Changing partner’s clothes to see him or her in a brand new image can become a funky game for a couple. In case your set of clothes involves every existing style and it seems like you’ve already tried everything, it is the partner who may advance the idea of a new image. His favorite actor or just any person he likes can become an inspiration, a role model and a space for creativity. Finding similarities and differences between the self and partner’s favorite character and turning into this character is a chance for you both to see each other from a new perspective.

Sex education

I guess I should have put this in the first place, but there is a plan to be stuck to, and my cherry is hidden at the bottom of the pie. Current level of IT solutions is a pleasant help in learning and teaching almost any skill. Sex as well. Scientific knowledge about sex is being refined with every new day. Physiologists study clitoris and look for the G-point. Genetics discover genes of fidelity. Psychotherapists speak out at TED advancing new ideas on fostering sexual desire within the couple. Kink- and fetish-websites create even more sophisticated events. Languages adopt new words from the sphere of sex and sexuality. It all gives topics for sexual conversation.

Joint searching for answers to the question “what do we know about sex?” – about sex toys, poses, scenarios of the games that other people play, about what kind of sex is considered legal in other states, about gender-bound statistics on orgasm and sexual arousal, events and activities of sexual nature, about the things sex-bloggers write about, about the number of swing-clubs in the world – can become a fascinating experience that enables joint delving into sexual education.

What shall we do with all this?

Like any other type of growth, the development of sexual drive within the couple requires both time, and effort, and dynamics in action. Those persistent attain the desired more often than those giving up halfway.

More communication about sex – How to start a threesome – the first threesome experience.

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