BDSM Code “For Dummies”: Clothes And Accessories

 

Fast and fruitful in its global spreading, fashion sometimes leaves an imprint of pointlessness on the things it brings atop. The tattoos of hieroglyphs which meaning is unknown to people having them are no longer topical. But their position has in some way been taken by clothes and accessories that originate from the world of BDSM. And the shallowness lies in the fact that we get into them regardless of or even contrary to the meaning that they originally implied.

When putting on some elements of BDSM-attire, we unintentionally intimate or promise something that we don’t actually understand. So if one who follows the theme (i.e. represents the BDSM-culture) sees a choker that’s been put on just for the purpose of trendy look, they might give a tolerant smile. And the only armory we can have against the smiles of this kind is learning more about the subject.

After all, you know that even 20 worlds of local language under the belt shall make your staying in a new country much more comfortable, don’t you? While in your journey to the world of BDSM dress and accessories can be used instead of many words. That’s why they make the subject of the text that follows.

The fundamentals of BDSM-culture

The actual long abbreviation—the BD-DS-SM—has been made shorter for the purpose of speech convenience. The symbolism of the BDSM clothes and accessories follows the culture key fundamentals:

• BD—bondage and discipline;
• DS—dominance and submission;
• SM—sadism and masochism.

The BDSM of today is characterized by the principles of safety, right-mindedness and consensual basis. The rest of the theme principles and nuances tell us that:

• sadism and masochism traditionally imply physical action;
• dominance and submission refer to emotional experience;
• players use rules and stop-words that’ve been previously agreed upon;
• BDSM is not always sex, but it always implies fulfillment of a specific sexual fantasy accompanied by sexual excitement;

• the BD-DS-SM variations can be either simultaneous or independent;
• realization of aggression, grudge or fear in relation to a partner is an inappropriate motivation for domination. Accordingly, pangs of guilt and desire to please shall be a wrong starting point for a sub. Correct motivation is the one that ignites your sexual flame;
• in BDSM-games sexual excitement of participants is essential.

The symbolism of BDSM accessories and clothes

The attributes of the sub symbolize the willingness to obey and abandon the self to the dominant’s will. They emphasize the ideas of sub’s belonging to the dominant, their ability to obey to master and all those whom the master shall put them into service.

The attributes of the top indicate their ability and desire to chasten, teach, punish, be liable for, empathize and take care of the partner. They symbolize top’s capacity to fulfil one’s personal kinks and fantasies with the help of the bottom as well as do the same with kinky fantasies of their bottom’s. They demonstrate the ability to dominate in both physical and psychological aspect.

• Choker: literally “the one who strangles”.

Strange as it may seem, but the first people known to wear chokers were tribal chiefs of Maya. In Ancient Greece neck bands were used for slaves. Queen Alexandra of Wales and Princess Diana also used chokers to embellish their attire. While in 90ies choker entered BDSM-culture to represent a neck collar. This BDSM-accessory is one of the sub’s key symbols that demonstrates their belonging to the master.

Thus putting on this adornment is consistent when you desire to submit and give in to the will and mind of the other person.

• Latex is used by both top and bottom.

When dressed in latex, we don’t emphasize any specific role but imply sex and BDSM in general. Just like any other costume, latex helps one put on a “different” skin and hide one’s actual personality.

What’s so specific about latex is that it functions the same way as heels do: makes you bright eyed and bushy tailed. It accentuates all body lines thus highlighting denudation and telling its owner to be the one who prefers licentious and explicit demonstration of the body to hide the individual—either totally or partially. It implies a person in latex to be asking for communication in a sexual context without turning to social roles.

Latex as a part of attire is a request for explicit sex-talk that dismisses politically correct courtesy.

• Whip, spanking paddle, cane, stack, lash, flogger: the attributes of the dominant.

These are instruments of sadomasochistic pleasures for corporal punishment, whipping, flogging and torturing. If you come to a BDSM club with one of the said fetishes you are sure to catch eyes of many subs looking at you with hope and anticipation.

Having a whip on you shall be logical in case you are a top looking for a bottom.

• Handcuffs are used by tops to fix their bottoms.

A bottom may also wear cuffs for themselves, on their hands. These fetishes are a part of the kink. You may choose cuffs to fit the game you prefer: either soft ones for tender games or those hard if you prefer games with sadistic taste.

Using cuffs shall be appropriate for those who dream about getting in fetters, or those wishing to chain the other as a voluntary prisoner.

• Wristbands, wristlets, leg cuffs and leather bracelets are the accessories of the bottom.

Used as a clear allusion to handcuffs, they are designed for fast and mobile fixation of the sub’s body. And though they look like standard adornment, these accessories also symbolize obedience and humbleness.

• Lash: an attribute of the sub that often complements a collar.

It is used for themed games in that top positions the sub as their pet, slave or toy.

When coming to a club or a party with a lash on you, you show that you are ready to go down on all fours and proceed like this, or to follow your master in a proud high-heeled foot-walk.

• Gags.

Are used to prevent the sub from uttering any sound and let them experience the feeling of helplessness, humiliation or other sensations that turn them on.

Having a gag with you is natural if you’re excited by the fantasy of seducing a sub to a game like this.

• Extra high heels.

Big height is associated with dominance and can come as an instrument of torture. But it can be also used to emphasize the role of a sub, to cause them discomfort by giving pleasure. This is the way master distinguishes the sub from others. Usually they are heels with high platform or something like heeled ballet shoes that are used.

The heel itself does not designate the role. The latter is completed by a set of extra attributes.

• Mask, animal mask is a universal sign. It can hide the face totally or partially.  

A mask without mouth opening is a fetish of the sub used in compliance with one’s specific kink. A mask that covers one’s mouth brings together two ideas: it prevents the sub from saying a thing (even stop-words) and bereaves them of their face, i.e. takes away the personality.

We think that wearing a mask with no mouth is logical when you have a master.

• Ropes: tops may use a rope to immobilize their subs.

Bondage, shibari, kinbaku. This Japanese art of erotic and esthetic bonding was originally used for torturing.

If you’re excited by the idea of having a pack of ropes in your car trunk or by playful demonstration of a shaggy stranded rope end sticking out of your backpack than you’d better learn to knot them right and use in a safe manner. Now you have little chance to avoid a crowd of flirting subs.

• Body binds and bondage as a sign of submission.

Bondage in its meaning of dependence and captivity implies immobilization and fixation of the sub.

Wearing bondage is ok when you’re ready to abandon to your dominants’ will.

• Nipples clamps as attributes of the bottom.

An instrument that helps give masochistic pleasure to the sub and sadistic experience to the dominant.

It is coherent to have nipples clamps when you don’t mind somebody’s experimenting with their compression rate while you are the model.

• Cat masks, mitts, tails.

When used beyond the BDSM-context, they can have a great deal of meanings. But in the framework of a BDSM-party they shall obviously imply a pet-play. So if you dream about drinking milk from a bowl under supervision of your master, putting on mitts and kitten ears and drawing a nose and thread whiskers shall be a logical and consistent idea.

Clothes and accessories as the first step to BDSM

We hope to have made the aspect of BDSM-clothes clear and thus even more appealing. And that you’ll be using them in compliance with your personal kinks and fantasies.

And in case you feel that learning the abovesaid about BDSM-accessories makes things even more interesting, think twice before dismissing a wristband or a choker that were bought for good looks only. Sure attributes alone are not enough to become a dominant or a sub. BDSM is a big world that has its values, philosophy and rules. But for those who want to dive into it, clothes can become a nice starting point.

Read more about kinks in the article Kinky Apps, Kinky Toys And Kinky Sites: The SexTech