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19 things you should know about swinger lifestyle communities

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You’ve decided to become a part of the swinger community.

You’ve talked it out with your partner, you know where to start swinging, and you’re ready to go…

But you’re not. Not yet, anyway.

Because before you become a swinger, you need to know that there are a few very important rules that you need to keep in mind.

Here are the rules you need to know to become a part of the swinging community.

Rule 1: Stay Together

This is a very important one. You need to come with your partner and leave with them. Swinging is a team activity, so don’t leave your partner behind.

It’s also safer and easier to be part of the swinger community if both partners are comfortable with it.

Rule 2: Be On Time

Don’t be late for meets or parties. It’s a huge turn-off to everyone else to have to stop what they’re doing and go and collect you at the door.

Once things start, they’re going. Turning up late only makes things awkward for everyone.

If you really can’t help it, let the host know. You don’t want to be barred from great parties just because you weren’t punctual.

Of course, finding parties to be on time for can be difficult, so check out our list of the best swingers sites to find some.

Rule 3: Bring the Host a Gift

If you’re invited to a private party, don’t go empty handed. Bring something nice for them.

Think of it this way – dinner party rules still apply. You wouldn’t go to a friend’s dinner party without at least bringing a bottle of wine, would you?

The same applies is the swinging community.

Rule 4: Bring Protection

Don’t expect your host to provide condoms for you. It’s thought of as a bit rude to do so.

Pack your own. Your host is unlikely to know the size of your penis.

And top tip – bring more than you think you need.

Rule 5: Everyone Respects Boundaries

The swinging community has very strict rules when it comes to boundaries and consent. So, remember to adhere to them.

No means no. If someone is uncomfortable, then stop. Everyone has a right to stop things in their tracks, remember that.

This includes yourself. You have as much of a right to say no as everyone else. If you’re uncomfortable, sound off.

This leads us into our next rule…

Rule 6: Courtesy

Always be courteous to everyone you meet. People have their own insecurities and uncertainties. So be kind, think before you act, and always be polite.

The point of swinging is to create a safe environment where everyone can indulge in their sexual desires.

It’s a swingers community for a reason.

Rule 7: Answer All Invitations

Even if you don’t want to attend a party, let the host know. It’s difficult to set up parties with multiple people and make plans, especially if you don’t know how many are going to turn up.

Thank them for the invitation by the communication method they prefer. Be nice, because you will want to keep getting invites.

If you don’t know how to find parties to attend in the swinging community, you can check out my article on the subject here.

Rule 8: Dress Right

Dress for practicality and comfort, but remember that your clothes need to suit your mood.

If you’re going for action, dress a little more revealing and sexy. For the ladies this can be a sexy dress that shows off some leg or cleavage.

Men should go for chinos with some room to grow below the belt and a collared shirt over a T-shirt.

Make sure both of you bring a robe.

Don’t wear too much jewellery. Leave non-essential valuables and cash at home.

The idea here is not to lose anything and embarrass your hosts.

Rule 9: Hygiene and Health

This should go without saying, but it needs to be said nonetheless. Make sure you’re both clean and scrubbed and smelling good when you go to a party.

Bad breath, body odour, and other such unpleasant things are a huge turn-off in the swinging community.

Wear good perfume or cologne, but not too much, because it may irritate some people.

And don’t come to a party if you have a contagious illness of some sort, such as the flu. Let the host know in advance, rest up, and catch the next party. Nothing is worse than giving everyone the flu.

Rule 10: You’ve Got a Friend in Me

Be friendly to everyone at the party. The swingers community is about safety and fun, so just be nice, even if you’re not interested in them.

Who knows? They may introduce you to someone you are interested in. It is really surprising how far a little bit of friendliness can go.

Rule 11: Those Who Come to Watch Must Stay Quiet

If you’re just there to watch the fun, that’s entirely okay.

But you need to keep quiet. A voyeur is not allowed to speak.

Some clubs are very adamant about this rule, so keep this in mind.

Rule 12: Clean Up

If you make a mess somewhere, either with a drink or something else, clean it up. There’s nothing worse in the swinger community that sitting down in a mysterious wet spot.

Be a good guest. Don’t leave the place in a state of disarray. It’s just common courtesy.

Rule 13: Check in with Your Partner

This is about looking after the welfare of your partner. Keep in touch with them, make sure you’re both still having a fun, safe experience.

It’s a nice gesture and it means that you can let each other know if you get uncomfortable or have to leave for some reason.

Rule 14: Be Sociable

One of the best ways to find new friends in the swingers community is to network. And to do this you have to be sociable.

Talk to people, make friends, say hello.

And remember rule 10!

Rule 15: Go Easy on the Sauce

Remember to take it easy on the drinking. No one wants to have sex with someone who is blind drunk.

Don’t drink on an empty stomach, don’t drink too much. Stay sober. Have fun.

Rule 16: Keep Expectations Realistic

Even if you’ve been fantasizing about this for a while, you need to set realistic expectations.

Not every party is going to be a wild orgy and sometimes you might not even find any couples that you would like to swap with.

And remember that sometimes the sex might only start later, so just relax and enjoy the company until it starts.

Rule 17: Observe

Even if you’ve done all your research and are raring to go, it’s probably a good idea to take some time to watch first.

Observe the dynamic, see what it’s like to part of the swinging community. You and your partner won’t know if you’re into it until you try, so take your time with it.

Rule 18: Learn the Lingo

Learn swinging terms before you go to a party. You don’t want to be caught short when someone says something. Know the difference between a soft and hard swap, and why swingers refer to their lifestyle as “the lifestyle”.

Rule 19: Have Fun!

This is something both you and your partner need to remember. You’re both going there to have fun.

You’re a part of the swinging community. Explore your desires.

Enjoy the hell out of it!

It’s a great community to be a part of, full of nice, supportive, sexy people.

And the best way to do that is in an open-minded, judgement-free space…

A space that Fantasy provides.

Fantasy is more than a dating app - it’s about people.

They believe that everyone should be able to be themselves and indulge in their desires, fantasies, and kinks.

That’s why they provide an open-minded, fun space full of like-minded people.

Share your fantasies and kinks, match with partners into the same things, and have fun.

Fantasy — the app for open-minded