What are the stages of sexual development?
Our own firsthand experiences and those of our peers have shown us that, typically, the development of sexuality and the formation of personal sexual freedoms undergo the following stages:
- Tasting and experimenting
This stage brings the first experience and the first pleasure. By experimenting with new things, we each start to map out our individual sexuality, continuously complementing it with new fantasies, games, roles and scenarios that we only dream about trying.
- Learning and sensing our own bodies
In this stage, we each take a better look at our own bodies: we caress every inch to understand what titillates us, excites us, pleases us. This stage never truly ends. We continue finding new nuances in our bodies and our partners. For instance, we may find our left nipple responds to tender caressing, while the right one likes it rough.
- Understanding our sexual fantasies and practicing sensual experiences
After we learn our own bodies, we burn with the desire to learn and pleasure others’ bodies. We find ourselves to prefer specific bodies or even be attracted to individual body parts. For example, some find sexual attraction in feet; others find that palms, fingers, hair or eyes lure them most.
- Making fantasies more refined and integrating them into everyday life
After we understand three crucial things about ourselves — our personal dos and don’ts, the things that ignite our fire and those that fail to, and our limits of norm and decency — we start to fulfill complex fantasies that reach beyond purely physical action.
We begin with simple fantasies that don’t require much preparation or large investments of time and money. Gradually, we work our way up to very challenging ones, such as going to Cap d'Agde (or similar places, whatever tickles your fancy), organizing independent play parties or creating separate realities that run in compliance with rules set by their founders. At this moment, sexuality breaks out beyond the limits of sex and starts manifesting itself in all aspects of life. You never know: submission to your boss may become just as pleasant as submission to your sexual partner at a play party in Bushwick!
Every time we master a stage of sexuality, we free our inner selves and break free of mental restraints.